Today is our grandson Logan's birthday. he is 8.
wow how time has flown.
and how 8 years can make a difference.
When little man was born 8 years ago today no one knew the outcome of the day.
Logan was ok, but his mom was not.
I was back a forth between nursery and recovery room and I knew something was wrong. She was bleeding too much. So I kept at the nurse. Soon they were giving her more drugs. And daughter was so out of it and she was crying so much. She kept asking me same questions over and over is the baby alright? am I gonna be alright? and I'd answer the same yes and yes. But then I'd look under the sheet and discover she was in another pool of blood so I'd run and find a nurse. They gave her transfusions. Then did a D & C. Then the Doctor called me at home (I had to go home make sure other 3 boys were ok) and he said if we don't do emergency surgery and remove her uterus NOW she could die. And I said what do you need from me? He said well your her emergency contact so you have to sign the papers to have the surgery done but we dont have time to sign papers I need you to give me verbal permission now before we loose her. I said do what ever it take save her life. and I will be right back there in about 15 mins. He said when you get back sign the papers. I said ok. I told the babysitter who happened to be my daughter's best friend what was going on and asked if she could stay with the other 3 boys. She said yes just go. So I ran out to my car broke all speed limits and got there just as they were taking her in. They told me to ask her if she understood what was going on because of all the drugs they had given her. She said yes but not why. I said I'll explain later just go get it done. She was so weak at that point so pale and so like she wasn't gonna make it. I went back into the nursery and held my grandson and sang him the grandma loves you song but changed it to mommy loves you. So that if for some reason my daughter didn't make it he would know his mom loved him. After what seemed like forever the doctor came out and said she will be ok. She was groggy but alive. They did a complete Hysterectomy in order to get the bleeding to stop. I had saved her life but she wouldn't have any more children. She had 4 boys and I knew she wanted a girl, but now she was gonna have to be happy with her boys because the hardest choice I had to make I just made to save her life and I had. So Logan has his mom. She wasn't happy when she finally got it all put together 4 months later but then again after our screaming match I told her at least your the one here raising your 4 boys and not me raising them with out you. She agrees but there are days when it gets her down. I know that too But my choice was to save her life, so she could raise her boys and be there for them.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
It's been such a hard time
Hubby and I have been under so much stress here lately. All these doctors and hospital bills that aren't covered by insurance. All the calls that we couldn't answer. And on top of it all our daughter and her boys are living here too. She is trying to help us as we are trying to help her. Yet as we seem to sink so does she.
When hubby was in having the hip surgery. I was walking to McDonald's that is there in the hospital and I started to pass by the financial adviser when I decided to check to see if she was busy. She was not. So I ask her for help. I told her about all the surgeries about not having insurance for one of them for there being so many and was there any help for us? So she got out the paper work and we started to fill it all out together. Then I went and got my lunch at McDonald's and went back to hubby's room. I told him what I had done and he said oh good.
Well time passed and we heard nothing. and next thing you know we are getting bills from the hospital and all the rest and they all want their money.
So I looked for the number but couldn't find it, but did find another number and gave them a call and asked if they knew what was going on. Well she said we were missing some paper work and until they had that they couldn't give us an answer. and that they had sent us a letter in the mail. Well we did not get anything in the mail. So we asked what they needed got a fax number and said ok we will get that to you yet today. and then we did just that. She said give it two weeks and call and see where its at.
Well yesterday hubby said I should call and see what was going on. For some reason I didn't get to it. Today he went to the mail, and found a letter saying they accepted us and paid all of our hospital bills. I sat and cried. Just totally cried. Just earlier today I changed my photo on face book. it says:
FAITH IN GOD CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Ok so now it's like I put that up there on my face book page and we get accepted and our bills are paid!
I know I've asked God for help before. and I know it seems like he's not listening, so its been hard for me to believe that there is a God. But why did I put that on my Face Book page today? and when we so needed it now? Because Faith in God Changes Everything!
Yes yes it does. Thank you God. Thank you for sending us help we needed.
Now we still have some bills yet to pay that are in collections but hey they are like a Hugh dragon breathing fire at us any more. Now its just a little lion roaring at us. And I think we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Another good thing. I am fixed up. I got a good report today from the doctor about my knee. I don't need to see him again unless I do something stupid. Now we just have to finish fixing hubby he does still need the other hip replaced. Now it doesn't seem like the world is closing in on us.
When hubby was in having the hip surgery. I was walking to McDonald's that is there in the hospital and I started to pass by the financial adviser when I decided to check to see if she was busy. She was not. So I ask her for help. I told her about all the surgeries about not having insurance for one of them for there being so many and was there any help for us? So she got out the paper work and we started to fill it all out together. Then I went and got my lunch at McDonald's and went back to hubby's room. I told him what I had done and he said oh good.
Well time passed and we heard nothing. and next thing you know we are getting bills from the hospital and all the rest and they all want their money.
So I looked for the number but couldn't find it, but did find another number and gave them a call and asked if they knew what was going on. Well she said we were missing some paper work and until they had that they couldn't give us an answer. and that they had sent us a letter in the mail. Well we did not get anything in the mail. So we asked what they needed got a fax number and said ok we will get that to you yet today. and then we did just that. She said give it two weeks and call and see where its at.
Well yesterday hubby said I should call and see what was going on. For some reason I didn't get to it. Today he went to the mail, and found a letter saying they accepted us and paid all of our hospital bills. I sat and cried. Just totally cried. Just earlier today I changed my photo on face book. it says:
FAITH IN GOD CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Ok so now it's like I put that up there on my face book page and we get accepted and our bills are paid!
I know I've asked God for help before. and I know it seems like he's not listening, so its been hard for me to believe that there is a God. But why did I put that on my Face Book page today? and when we so needed it now? Because Faith in God Changes Everything!
Yes yes it does. Thank you God. Thank you for sending us help we needed.
Now we still have some bills yet to pay that are in collections but hey they are like a Hugh dragon breathing fire at us any more. Now its just a little lion roaring at us. And I think we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Another good thing. I am fixed up. I got a good report today from the doctor about my knee. I don't need to see him again unless I do something stupid. Now we just have to finish fixing hubby he does still need the other hip replaced. Now it doesn't seem like the world is closing in on us.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
He didn't realize what he was doing when he did what he did.
The young man was a very heavy drinker. He drank more than any young person should. Then he went and got help.
But when he came out he went right back to drinking.
His girlfriend and another friend gave him an ultimatum. STOP DRINKING OR ELSE!
Little did they all know it was too late.
He arrived at the hospital to get help only to learn his kidneys and liver where already shutting down. Then everything else went to hell from there. They tried dialysis but it was too late for that. Tonight they are making the hardest decision ever. To pull the plug. He never came back long enough to know what turn of events came his way. He never knew what he was doing to those who cared so very much for him. And tomorrow his life will be over.. Way to young. all because he wanted to keep drinking. He chose to drink. So in a way he chose to kill himself. He knew what could happen. And now its way way to late for him. and all his family and friends are hurting so badly. and they are crying. What a terrible waste.
But when he came out he went right back to drinking.
His girlfriend and another friend gave him an ultimatum. STOP DRINKING OR ELSE!
Little did they all know it was too late.
He arrived at the hospital to get help only to learn his kidneys and liver where already shutting down. Then everything else went to hell from there. They tried dialysis but it was too late for that. Tonight they are making the hardest decision ever. To pull the plug. He never came back long enough to know what turn of events came his way. He never knew what he was doing to those who cared so very much for him. And tomorrow his life will be over.. Way to young. all because he wanted to keep drinking. He chose to drink. So in a way he chose to kill himself. He knew what could happen. And now its way way to late for him. and all his family and friends are hurting so badly. and they are crying. What a terrible waste.
Monday, January 19, 2015
our safety
Way back when a little know company had started, when you first signed up they asked you not to use your real name, They said make up a name. Now that little know company has gone nation wide and is known all over the world and they are saying you must have your real name or you are banned! Does this make sense? HELL NO. But alas we all live in a world that never make sense. I've lost a few friends this way because they used a made up name hell I used a made up one once a upon a time. But when I wanted my family and friends to "find" me I used not only my real name but pictures of myself so they could find me. Not everyone knew me by my a.k.a. name. But then I had some friends who only knew me by my a.k.a name and when I used my real name I had to let them all know hey this is me. Police will tell you be careful of information you share online for there are people who will steal that information. So my question to this well known company why do you ban those who use a a.k.a name on your site? they are trying to keep from sharing to much information like the police tell us not to? I feel your not try to keep us as safe as we should be.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Surgery
So on Tuesday morning I have to be at the hospital at 8 am. Surgery is at 10 am. I'm hoping it turns out to be the simple surgery the doctor said it would be, 3 holes fix it done and heal! Not the oh -oh it's worst than I thought and your gonna need a knee replacement.
Once I am healed hubby is going in to see about getting his right hip replaced, if he can last that long. He is already having problems walking and standing. In fact he has told me his hip has given out on him a few times and he has almost fallen. He has caught him self so far every time!! So yeah hopefully once I'm done and hubby gets done we will finally be on our way to our new life! I'm hoping Florida. We shall see. But first let us get through these surgeries. Me first.
Once I am healed hubby is going in to see about getting his right hip replaced, if he can last that long. He is already having problems walking and standing. In fact he has told me his hip has given out on him a few times and he has almost fallen. He has caught him self so far every time!! So yeah hopefully once I'm done and hubby gets done we will finally be on our way to our new life! I'm hoping Florida. We shall see. But first let us get through these surgeries. Me first.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Stereo type
I'm changing up my post a little.
I have watch my granddaughter struggle with peer pressure and thought this would be a good place to put out some views of my own.
So in a way this is dedicated to my grand daughters.
Now just because I am old and from another generation does not mean this can not apply to you.
Things don't change all that much.
When I was a young girl I hate skirts and dresses. I wanted pants and jeans.
I also liked playing in the dirt, playing baseball and basketball.
Most people called me a tom boy.
But to me I just wanted to be me to do what felt right to me and comfortable. It did not mean I was a boy boy or a girl struggling to be a boy. it meant I like jeans and dirt.
I had dreams of getting married and having children some day. But as a young girl I wanted to dress the way that made me feel good. Not all gussied up fancy like every one thought a little girl should be. and heaven for bid should I get dirty! Dirty was my middle name. I loved playing with road graters and dump trucks and mud. I did not like trying to wear high heels shoes that hurt my feet and twisted my ankles. So leave me alone to be me.
They didn't want to take me to church because I didn't want to wear a dress. I didn't want to wear make up or get my hair done up. What was wrong with you they would ask? Are you trying to be a boy? NO but I want to be me and those things are not me.
Sure as I got older I did wear a dress once in awhile and I did have my hair done once in awhile but I didn't ever wear make up because to me that was hiding the real me. I didn't like the way it felt on my face so I didn't wear it EVER!
And for heels? NOPE give me flat shoes or tennis shoes and I'm happy. I just don't feel I need to add height to me. I am me I am 5 feet 4 inches tall period!
I hear now all these girls I went to school with who all wore heels who now have so much trouble with their feet. Me? My feet are good! well except the arthritis.
Yes I was over weight and yes I worried about it. But you know what? I dressed to make me look good with the extra weight and I am still me. I don't listen to others telling me oh you should do this honey it would make you look so much better.
But here is the thing that went around my head the most.
Because I wanted to be me, because I wanted to play in dirt and play baseball and basketball and wear jeans and flat shoes do you know what hurt the worst? They said I was gay!
Now I do not have a thing against those who are gay. nope not at all some of my best friends are gay. BUT just because I wanted to be different and wanted to be me I was labeled! and labeled gay! And that hurt. They whispered behind my back and they weren't true friends, they wanted to know what a gay person was like. and even if they found out I wasn't gay they refused to change their minds about me.
So girls, here is what I want to tell you. BE YOU. DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS MAKE YOUR SELF HAPPY. and remember you might start a new trend by being you,
I have watch my granddaughter struggle with peer pressure and thought this would be a good place to put out some views of my own.
So in a way this is dedicated to my grand daughters.
Now just because I am old and from another generation does not mean this can not apply to you.
Things don't change all that much.
When I was a young girl I hate skirts and dresses. I wanted pants and jeans.
I also liked playing in the dirt, playing baseball and basketball.
Most people called me a tom boy.
But to me I just wanted to be me to do what felt right to me and comfortable. It did not mean I was a boy boy or a girl struggling to be a boy. it meant I like jeans and dirt.
I had dreams of getting married and having children some day. But as a young girl I wanted to dress the way that made me feel good. Not all gussied up fancy like every one thought a little girl should be. and heaven for bid should I get dirty! Dirty was my middle name. I loved playing with road graters and dump trucks and mud. I did not like trying to wear high heels shoes that hurt my feet and twisted my ankles. So leave me alone to be me.
They didn't want to take me to church because I didn't want to wear a dress. I didn't want to wear make up or get my hair done up. What was wrong with you they would ask? Are you trying to be a boy? NO but I want to be me and those things are not me.
Sure as I got older I did wear a dress once in awhile and I did have my hair done once in awhile but I didn't ever wear make up because to me that was hiding the real me. I didn't like the way it felt on my face so I didn't wear it EVER!
And for heels? NOPE give me flat shoes or tennis shoes and I'm happy. I just don't feel I need to add height to me. I am me I am 5 feet 4 inches tall period!
I hear now all these girls I went to school with who all wore heels who now have so much trouble with their feet. Me? My feet are good! well except the arthritis.
Yes I was over weight and yes I worried about it. But you know what? I dressed to make me look good with the extra weight and I am still me. I don't listen to others telling me oh you should do this honey it would make you look so much better.
But here is the thing that went around my head the most.
Because I wanted to be me, because I wanted to play in dirt and play baseball and basketball and wear jeans and flat shoes do you know what hurt the worst? They said I was gay!
Now I do not have a thing against those who are gay. nope not at all some of my best friends are gay. BUT just because I wanted to be different and wanted to be me I was labeled! and labeled gay! And that hurt. They whispered behind my back and they weren't true friends, they wanted to know what a gay person was like. and even if they found out I wasn't gay they refused to change their minds about me.
So girls, here is what I want to tell you. BE YOU. DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS MAKE YOUR SELF HAPPY. and remember you might start a new trend by being you,
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Cant think of a title.
What goes up must come down.....
That is from a song.
But today it pertains to friendship
Mine went down the way of bye bye see ya.
This person whom I thought was a friend (even though I never met her) posted something that upset me deeply.
It was how to make a machine gun, with a pop bottle and some other things you can buy at a hardware store.
That wasn't the part that bothered me although it bothered me that she posted this online where millions of children as well as sicko adults could see it.
Nope what bothered me most is she called it a TOY! Yes a toy. Now if you had seen this video you would know there is no possible way it is just a toy.
Now the other thing that bothers me about this person and this post is that she post things about "God" all the time. how her life is given over to God and how we all should trust in God and on and on and on and then she post this.
Yes I believe she has the right to post what ever she wants on her face book page. BUT when your preaching about rights and wrongs and are pushing God at people and then you post the video you posted and call it a toy when it's clearly a machine gun. Nope I'm sorry we are no longer friends.
Mainly she knew that I have some grand sons that are troubled and this is clearly instructions to make something that would get them killed over.
Maybe I'm wrong but I do not think so. I wish I had the video for you to see but see I deleted it as well as her as soon as I could so it would not fall into the wrong hands!
That is from a song.
But today it pertains to friendship
Mine went down the way of bye bye see ya.
This person whom I thought was a friend (even though I never met her) posted something that upset me deeply.
It was how to make a machine gun, with a pop bottle and some other things you can buy at a hardware store.
That wasn't the part that bothered me although it bothered me that she posted this online where millions of children as well as sicko adults could see it.
Nope what bothered me most is she called it a TOY! Yes a toy. Now if you had seen this video you would know there is no possible way it is just a toy.
Now the other thing that bothers me about this person and this post is that she post things about "God" all the time. how her life is given over to God and how we all should trust in God and on and on and on and then she post this.
Yes I believe she has the right to post what ever she wants on her face book page. BUT when your preaching about rights and wrongs and are pushing God at people and then you post the video you posted and call it a toy when it's clearly a machine gun. Nope I'm sorry we are no longer friends.
Mainly she knew that I have some grand sons that are troubled and this is clearly instructions to make something that would get them killed over.
Maybe I'm wrong but I do not think so. I wish I had the video for you to see but see I deleted it as well as her as soon as I could so it would not fall into the wrong hands!
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