Sorry I've been missing

I've been away from blogging for awhile. We have discovered that the pain that I have is NOT always my teeth or sinus or migraines. No I have Atypical facial pain or TN. And this pain is not any thing that you can just take over the counter meds for and get rid of. NO this pain is the worst pain you could possibly have. Yes I even think it's right up there with childbirth and yes I've had 3 so I know. This TN is called the suicide pain. and I can see why. I have actually had this for years. But have put it off for many other things such as my teeth or my sinus or yes my migraines. But in the last 2 years it has gotten so bad that I was speaking to one of my friends who has TN and she is the one who told me I may have it. (symptoms were like hers) So I went to a Dr and yes I was diagnosed with Atypical facial pain. Pain that is so horrific that it robs you of your sleep. It robs you of many simple things such as smiling. You can be sitting watching T.V. and all of a sudden you will find tears rolling down your face. You don't know why and everyone will ask you why are you crying. Many times I will say I'm not and they will say then why are there tears running down your face? I don't even realize it because that half of my face is numb from the pain. This pain is something I wish for NO ONE. And I hope some day soon they find a cure.

Just plain mad but really wanna cry

So the other day I learned my older brother had passed away. Now before dad had died, if he would have passed then I would have cried my eyes out. But after dad died and both him and my older sister acted like asses took us to court cost us more than half our inheritance they turned into your not family. Now granted its not totally about the money but pisses me off that what should have been a really large amount (over 1,000.000.00) that turned into $804.00 after court and lawyer cost. and shit that should have been sold separately to make more was sold into one group for one amount for the group. So if there were 6 things in that group and it sold for $200.00 that was it not $200.00 each item like it should have been. And some of the stuff sold was worth way over $200.00. So we got screwed royally. The thing I think that totally pissed me off is dad's will said NO LAWYERS. yet that's what they did anyways.
So once everything was over and done with dad dead and buried and we all "got our inheritance" that was it everyone stopped speaking to one another. My older brother who I used to be so damn close to no longer would speak to me. My older sister who claimed she wanted to get to know me Shut me out. And my youngest sister who took all the rest of the money (all the cd's that she was suppose to share) also shut me out.
So when I learned my brother died and had already been buried (he told his son not to me till it was all over) I was so angry. And I just couldn't cry. I wanna cry but I can't. I just can't.
I love him.
And he is still my brother even though he shut me out and they did not include me in the obit. Which also made me angry.
But one day I will cry and I know once I start it will take a long time to stop.
Because there is more to cry about than just him passing away.
We never made up
I never got to tell him again that I love him and always have
I miss him
He will always be my brother no matter what.

Happy Mother's day early

Happy Mother's day early.

My mom is gone. This is my mom She was only 64 when she passed. I miss her so much.
The bottom picture is my mother-in law Lillian. My mother-in-law just passed away this Jan. 2017. She was 89. I loved her like my own mom. When she was still living here in MN we went  to garage sales all the time. Many times we were out so late that I didn't have time to make supper so she took us all out to eat. and many times we would have "a drink" after all we weren't driving any more hubby was. She shared with me one of the recipes that she made all the time that my hubby loved so I asked if she would teach me how to make it. She did. Between these two woman I learned so much. One who gave me life and one who gave me my husband. And they both loved me.  I have no one to celebrate Mother's day with. So I say to you all if your mom is still here with you GO....GO SPEND TIME WITH HER.....YOU DO NOT KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE THE LAST MOTHER'S DAY.
Love you mom and mom I miss you both. 💗💗💗💗💗

I must be crazy because I won't pay the price

I want a dog. But I want to go to the Animal Humane Society and "adopt" a dog. BUT LORD they want so much for these dogs that you would think they are made of gold. I understand they want some money back for the food and so forth while they have had the dog in their care. But $300.+ and $400+ for a dog is getting down right stupid. Yes I know that they have put chips in some of these animals and also have spade or neutered them as well but still that seems to be too high of a price to "adopt" a fur-baby. So then I hear of another place you can look for available animals to "adopt" and they are cheaper than AHS. Yeah they want to "visit your home" before agreeing to let you adopt a pet. WHAT? My home is my privet place I don't need you to come here to
see if I pass as a pet owner" I've owned pets since I was 2 yrs old and I think I know how to take care of my pets. First off they aren't "pets" they are family - Kids if you prefer. Hubby thinks they come to "case your place to rob it later" while I don't think that is true in all of the cases it could be true in some. So I really won't be going through them even though it's much cheaper than AHS. So for now I will not be getting a dog. What kind you say? Well I'm bouncing back and forth between a Yorkie and a Shih tzu.  When I find the right one (out of those 2) I will know which one I will be getting.

I guess the Beavers were right again

So our winter here in MN has been pretty darn mild. Now there will be several that will say are ya nuts? Did you forget the minus below temps we had? Well yeah because when you all had the minus degree weather here I was in Fl enjoying 87 degree weather. I was out on the beaches enjoying the sun, laughing (yes laughing) at all those back here in MN freezing their asses off. But low and behold when we came back to MN the week before Christmas the weather wasn't that cold any more and then we only had a few days that were back down below zero. So yes the beavers were right once again.
I know many farmers check the Farmer Almanac's and pretty much live by it. But my dad said the Beaver's are a good way to see what our weather will truly be like because they are here living it. So I always go check out the beavers, to see just where they have built their huts. Close to the shore mild winter. Out in the middle bad winter. and so far they have been right. My money will be on the Beavers. I have yet to see them wrong.

Happy New Year Welcome 2017 and hang on to your seats

Merry Christmas .....Happy New Year
Welcome to 2017
and everyone here in the US of A hang on to your seats because I'm not sure how this is all gonna work out for us but I see a very bumpy ride coming.
Scared? HELL YES!
Donald Trump won the election. I am glad only that it's not Hillary. He claims he will make America great again. Well baby if he can do that with out starting WW3 Then he will at least keep one of his promises. I am all for getting America great again. But some of the things that has to happen is prices have to come down, wages need to stay were they are and insurance needs to be for every one not just the ones who can buy it.
So lets all hang on to our seats and pray and hope like Hell that this is not the beginning of the end.

Well we did it

With a sad heart, I sold my families farm...well my half anyways. In return I saved our home of 40+ years. A house I hated from day 1 but cry every time I thought we might loose it. It was sold back in May of this year Sheriff's sale. We had till Nov 25th to either redeem it or be out of the house. Our plans had been but another house in South Dakota then one in Florida. Live in Fl during the winter months and SD in the summer months. But we couldn't find a house. We did find one in Fl but didn't have the money yet. (at that point the farm hadn't sold yet) So after the farm sold and we looked at one last house (which needed more work than it was worth) We drove back home almost in tears (both of us) and decided to buy our house back. SO we now own our house again. No one can ever take it unless we don't pay our taxes or some darn thing. We have a few dollars to still go and possibly buy a home in Fl. So we are taking off again in Dec to go house hunting in Fl.


This just in ................My sister in law has just informed us that my husbands mom's cancer is back and there is nothing more they can do for her. They don't know how much longer she has. She will be 89 on Dec 28 if she lives that long. Our trip is more urgent now. Please pray