So we got more bad news yesterday.
First we learned hubby's sister passed away. We knew she might as she had cancer.
Then we learned that hubby's younger brother's wife also passed earlier this month.
and this morning I woke up couldn't swallow water so went to urgent care and learned I had strep. UGH. yeah this year can be over any time now please.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Merry Christmas Bah hum bug
Well Christmas was yesterday and it was terrible. We had no gifts for any of the grandchildren. It was made worse by the fact I had a accident at Logans school. So bad I cant talk about it for now.
My Uncle who had his leg removed from knee down is dying. Yes dying. And my mom's last living brother has also passed away. I just seem to have more and more bad news. I want this year to be over cause I just can't deal with any more.
Please god I am asking you please no more. and please make 2016 better.
My Uncle who had his leg removed from knee down is dying. Yes dying. And my mom's last living brother has also passed away. I just seem to have more and more bad news. I want this year to be over cause I just can't deal with any more.
Please god I am asking you please no more. and please make 2016 better.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Another year of prayers and unhappiness
So we have started out this year with my uncle falling and breaking his back and some ribs. Then he had some toes removed. They did not cover them properly so of course they got infected. He ended up in the hospital. Then when he finally got back to a NEW nursing home, they decided he would need either his foot removed or from just below the knee down removed. They ended up doing the knee down. He seems to be doing better, but he also has Sun downer which my dad also had before it progressed to full blown Alzheimer's. The thing that upsets me the most on this is this Uncle is only 10 years older than me.
Now today which is our grandson Jeremy's 13th birthday we learned hubby's brother's wife is in the hospital and may not make it. We aren't even sure what is wrong or what happened. So we are sending out more prayers there.
On top of all this we wanted to be in Florida by now and we will be staying here till at least June, unless we get kicked from our home. Yes we are now not able to make payment once again and are once again in foreclosure. This Christmas will be bleak for sure.
I have medical bills and they are just getting larger.
For the last few weeks when I go to the bathroom I have been bleeding ...........A LOT!
I showed hubby and he agreed yes it was a lot. So I went to the doctors. They ordered both scopes one up the back side and one down the throat. BUT when they called me to talk to me about the appointment they told me I have been blocked because I guess I owe a bill from way back in 2004 when we had no insurance and I had these same test done. (we have cancer running very high in my mom's side of the family) I don't have the money to pay this bill so I can't get these tests done. SO here I sit bleeding almost daily. I'm scared that by the time I do get the tests if ever it will be too late!
So what started out as a good year for me learning to walk has turned into a nightmare for me. PLUS I need surgery on both my shoulders. I just don't know what to do any more. I cry so much. I keep asking why me? and why can't I get help? I've got help from our clinic to pay our medical bills but they don't do past bills! I pray daily for myself as well as everyone else whom is having troubles.
The only good shinning light is our Aaron is back home. It was a bad way he came back. Just before Thanksgiving but Hubby and I are so very very happy he is home!
Now today which is our grandson Jeremy's 13th birthday we learned hubby's brother's wife is in the hospital and may not make it. We aren't even sure what is wrong or what happened. So we are sending out more prayers there.
On top of all this we wanted to be in Florida by now and we will be staying here till at least June, unless we get kicked from our home. Yes we are now not able to make payment once again and are once again in foreclosure. This Christmas will be bleak for sure.
I have medical bills and they are just getting larger.
For the last few weeks when I go to the bathroom I have been bleeding ...........A LOT!
I showed hubby and he agreed yes it was a lot. So I went to the doctors. They ordered both scopes one up the back side and one down the throat. BUT when they called me to talk to me about the appointment they told me I have been blocked because I guess I owe a bill from way back in 2004 when we had no insurance and I had these same test done. (we have cancer running very high in my mom's side of the family) I don't have the money to pay this bill so I can't get these tests done. SO here I sit bleeding almost daily. I'm scared that by the time I do get the tests if ever it will be too late!
So what started out as a good year for me learning to walk has turned into a nightmare for me. PLUS I need surgery on both my shoulders. I just don't know what to do any more. I cry so much. I keep asking why me? and why can't I get help? I've got help from our clinic to pay our medical bills but they don't do past bills! I pray daily for myself as well as everyone else whom is having troubles.
The only good shinning light is our Aaron is back home. It was a bad way he came back. Just before Thanksgiving but Hubby and I are so very very happy he is home!
Monday, November 23, 2015
Lasting Memories
As I sit playing my games on Face book, two of my grandsons are playing on their computers here in the living room. I am sorta listening to them as they play. The youngest of the two who is 8 (until Jan) is giggling away while his brother (who is 12 till Dec) is giving demands of what to do next in the game. (they are playing the same game together on their computers) What is funny to me is this is one of the few times they are NOT FIGHTING.
The older whispers something to me and I don't answer he whispers a little louder and I still don't answer, his brother tells him I am ignoring him. I laugh to my self because he has it right I am ignoring his brother as I want to see what they are talking about with out seeming that I am nosey. They will learn soon enough that grandma is nosey about everything.
The thing I love the most about just listening to them is Little man's giggle. he sounds just like his older brother Tj. Tj is now 20. You might remember we (gpa and I) raised Tj from a baby. I have tons of memories that I am trying hard to hang on to. Him giggling him telling me up every 3 secs when he could walk himself and he was no small baby/child. Him being out at the farm being a dare devil, climbing up the ladder at 3 to the top and scaring the hell out of me. Him taking a 3" spike 5" long and hammering all day long till he got it into the pole barn cause he wanted to help gpa build it. Him running from room to room when we were looking for a house in town to buy and move to saying this would be his room all the while I was thinking he was going to be heart broken to learn he wasn't moving with us. Little did we know he would be and wouldn't be leaving us. And the day his brother Aj moved in with us so that now he not only had a playmate, he had his brother with him in South Dakota with him and gpa and gma.
Little man is so much like his older brother. he has the soft heart like his brother does. He too is not a small child. and he giggles just like his big brother. I hope he never looses that giggle. Every day when I drop him off at school when I hug and kiss him I tell him to have a giggle happy day and to smile. Then I "poke" him because that is his thing poking. I had hoped he would have grown out of it by now but no he is still poking everyone. They both like to eat everything. Including most things other kids don't like to eat.
So why am I doing this today? well the boys are home from school this week. Today and tomorrow they have some kid of conference at school then of course Weds they are off for Thanksgiving break. That and the fact that I am really hoping to move to Fl next spring. I wanted to be gone NOW but things happened to keep us here. And of course the other thing is I'm getting older , They say alzheimers is inherited. So I want to keep these in my mind as long as possible. I want to remember these great kids who have spent most of their life with us. These are the memories I want to keep right there right up front so if I don't know anyone I hope I can remember the giggle.
The older whispers something to me and I don't answer he whispers a little louder and I still don't answer, his brother tells him I am ignoring him. I laugh to my self because he has it right I am ignoring his brother as I want to see what they are talking about with out seeming that I am nosey. They will learn soon enough that grandma is nosey about everything.
The thing I love the most about just listening to them is Little man's giggle. he sounds just like his older brother Tj. Tj is now 20. You might remember we (gpa and I) raised Tj from a baby. I have tons of memories that I am trying hard to hang on to. Him giggling him telling me up every 3 secs when he could walk himself and he was no small baby/child. Him being out at the farm being a dare devil, climbing up the ladder at 3 to the top and scaring the hell out of me. Him taking a 3" spike 5" long and hammering all day long till he got it into the pole barn cause he wanted to help gpa build it. Him running from room to room when we were looking for a house in town to buy and move to saying this would be his room all the while I was thinking he was going to be heart broken to learn he wasn't moving with us. Little did we know he would be and wouldn't be leaving us. And the day his brother Aj moved in with us so that now he not only had a playmate, he had his brother with him in South Dakota with him and gpa and gma.
Little man is so much like his older brother. he has the soft heart like his brother does. He too is not a small child. and he giggles just like his big brother. I hope he never looses that giggle. Every day when I drop him off at school when I hug and kiss him I tell him to have a giggle happy day and to smile. Then I "poke" him because that is his thing poking. I had hoped he would have grown out of it by now but no he is still poking everyone. They both like to eat everything. Including most things other kids don't like to eat.
So why am I doing this today? well the boys are home from school this week. Today and tomorrow they have some kid of conference at school then of course Weds they are off for Thanksgiving break. That and the fact that I am really hoping to move to Fl next spring. I wanted to be gone NOW but things happened to keep us here. And of course the other thing is I'm getting older , They say alzheimers is inherited. So I want to keep these in my mind as long as possible. I want to remember these great kids who have spent most of their life with us. These are the memories I want to keep right there right up front so if I don't know anyone I hope I can remember the giggle.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
And the waiting game begins.
Went to the doctor this morning.
Hubby had found a lump a few days ago. So I made a doctor's appointment. I also wanted to have her check my knee. It is still bothering me since I fell on my birthday this year out in South Dakota.
She checked the knee first said I needed an x-ray and then to go see the ortho doctor. That's ok I like Dr Ghose He is the one who took lump out of my arm did surgery on my knee and did my hubbys shoulder and hip surgeries.
Then I have an appointment this Thursday to get another mammogram and an alter sound done for the lump found in the breast. I say another because I just had one done in April of this year.
SO the waiting part begins as does the worry part!
up date: test come back normal. NO CANCER! relief.
Hubby had found a lump a few days ago. So I made a doctor's appointment. I also wanted to have her check my knee. It is still bothering me since I fell on my birthday this year out in South Dakota.
She checked the knee first said I needed an x-ray and then to go see the ortho doctor. That's ok I like Dr Ghose He is the one who took lump out of my arm did surgery on my knee and did my hubbys shoulder and hip surgeries.
Then I have an appointment this Thursday to get another mammogram and an alter sound done for the lump found in the breast. I say another because I just had one done in April of this year.
SO the waiting part begins as does the worry part!
up date: test come back normal. NO CANCER! relief.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Lucky is getting very possessive
That night when we went to bed, hubby tried to put his arm around me but this time instead of over the covers he went under them. Well, Lucky didn't like that and was soon trying to bite hubby's arm. When hubby wouldn't move his arm Luck got up ( he was all stretched out on my right side with his head on my shoulder) and got on top of my chest putting himself between my face and hubby's arm. As soon as hubby moved his arm Lucky went down by my feet and went to sleep. The next morning hubby had to work early instead of afternoon shift and Lucky was sitting on bed watching every thing hubby was doing and as soon as hubby leaned over to kiss me good -bye Lucky got in between us. Hubby said "No, Lucky this kiss isn't for you" and pushed him out of the way. As soon as he kissed me Good-bye and left for work Lucky curled up on hubby's side of the bed like thank god he's gone! LOL
Just about every time someone walks out the front door Lucky is there trying to get them to give him treats. His treats are kept on top shelf of the closet in living room because that's the only safe place for them. Most every where else Lucky can get to them even when door is closed. But at top of closet shelf he can't.... BUT He does climb to top of tv stand which is almost as close to them as he can get and he will look around the closet door as if to say "there they are I can see them please get me some." He will give you love but if you ask for love one to many times he gets annoyed and will bite you as if to say "Ok enough I want my treats now!" Spoiled rotten cat! LOL he is as bad as the grand kids when it comes to being spoiled! Yup that's our Lucky.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
shivering
No I'm not cold.
I just had a bad dream.
I have cold chills going up and down my spine.
It starts out with my oldest grandson, picking a fight with me about him sleeping in the smallest bedroom we have (which by the way is where his youngest brother is sleeping right now) I catch him stealing a tape measure. No I know it doesn't make sense. Next I look out the window in the room he is trying to use as his own bedroom and I see not one but 2 dead bald eagles. and just before I turn to go tell my mom (whom by the way has passed) I see a swan, not yet dead but dying. I go out into the living room to where she is in the kitchen and tell her about them and say do we call the e.p.c.s.a. Now mine you I have no idea if these are the right letters to the right word I'm looking for. When she says yes I suppose you should. As I'm looking on line for the phone number I look out the living room window and ask why is dad still here why isn't he at work? (again dad has passed as well) Then I see my hubby getting into the car with my dad and I'm like why is dad taking jack to work? and I keep asking that over and over. I also say we have enough cars I could have taken him to work. Then I am fighting with another grand child over feeding the cat. I finally grab a can but instead of opening the can I set in down and tell my mom as she is walking into the living room with a cup of coffee before you sit down come look at the 2 bald eagles and swan. And I see my dad backing down the driveway with my hubby in the car. That's when I wake up. Of course first thing I notice is the cat is on top of me trying to wake me up to feed him. Second is the time 7:21 am. and third of course is why did my dad take hubby to work. and then it hits me dad is dead he didn't take hubby to work. BUT could he be taking hubby someplace else? I am dreading finding out. I hope its just a dream and means nothing. I hate these cold shivers.
I just had a bad dream.
I have cold chills going up and down my spine.
It starts out with my oldest grandson, picking a fight with me about him sleeping in the smallest bedroom we have (which by the way is where his youngest brother is sleeping right now) I catch him stealing a tape measure. No I know it doesn't make sense. Next I look out the window in the room he is trying to use as his own bedroom and I see not one but 2 dead bald eagles. and just before I turn to go tell my mom (whom by the way has passed) I see a swan, not yet dead but dying. I go out into the living room to where she is in the kitchen and tell her about them and say do we call the e.p.c.s.a. Now mine you I have no idea if these are the right letters to the right word I'm looking for. When she says yes I suppose you should. As I'm looking on line for the phone number I look out the living room window and ask why is dad still here why isn't he at work? (again dad has passed as well) Then I see my hubby getting into the car with my dad and I'm like why is dad taking jack to work? and I keep asking that over and over. I also say we have enough cars I could have taken him to work. Then I am fighting with another grand child over feeding the cat. I finally grab a can but instead of opening the can I set in down and tell my mom as she is walking into the living room with a cup of coffee before you sit down come look at the 2 bald eagles and swan. And I see my dad backing down the driveway with my hubby in the car. That's when I wake up. Of course first thing I notice is the cat is on top of me trying to wake me up to feed him. Second is the time 7:21 am. and third of course is why did my dad take hubby to work. and then it hits me dad is dead he didn't take hubby to work. BUT could he be taking hubby someplace else? I am dreading finding out. I hope its just a dream and means nothing. I hate these cold shivers.
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